REMINDER

I will be going to Pulau Pinang this Saturday, after a whole month of farewell luncheons and dinners and whacking one durian hill. Kuala Lumpur will be missed, definitely.

I've never expressed them out loud. Nor have I shewn it publicly. But, really deep down inside I love my-everyone. All that I've come to know.

Over the past few days, I have met up with old friends- getting juicy updates on their happenings and sharing interesting stories and made some new ones as well.

Today was exceptionally special when my friend, Stu from Europe came to K.L. for a 3-day transit before heading down to Singapore. I've known him since 2003, a real sweet guy. And you know what happens to sweet guys, right?

Well, he's gay. Got married with his partner last year before everything started to go very wrong. The thing is they fell in love years ago, but he didn't fall out of it. His partner did.

It really sad to see people lie (especially when they say they love you) and manipulate you for all the wrong causes. I thought they have really made it. On legal paper. But who would have guessed it.

I don't know how it feels but I know it's really hurtful. He was near tears today when he was telling what happened over the past few months. Could only lend my ears...

Can money change someone? I think so. Can love change them back? That's a tough one...

Today, I just want to say I love all of you guys and will miss you when I am not around.

I want this post to be a reminder of who I am. Just a sweet guy like Stu trying to make it big in this small world. And that families and friends are the biggest thing on Earth!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

"Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore, a warrior must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if he feels that he should not follow it, he must not stay with it under any conditions.

His decision to keep on that path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. He must look at every path closely and deliberately. There is a question that a warrior has to ask, mandatorily: 'Does this path have a heart?'"

- Carlos Castaneda, 20th century mystic and Toltec warrior

I am still here, don't know where I am headed. At the complex crossroad of life. There are so many things that I'd like to do, learn and experience. Spoilt for choices, I don't know where to start.

Do you?
 
 
*A few months later* : Found this song by Dave Matthews Band (DMB)- Absolute!
 
DAVE MATTHEWS BAND LYRICS - Where Are You Going?

Where are you going?
With your long face pulling down, don’t hide away.
Like an ocean, which you can’t see but you can,
Smell and the sound of waves crash down.

I am no Superman,
I have no reasons for you.
I am no hero, no; that’s for sure.
But I do know one thing,
Where you are, that's where I belong.
I do know where you go is where I wanna be.

Where are you going?
Where do you go?

Are you looking for answers?
To questions under the stars.
Well if along the way,
You are grow weary,
You can rest with me until a brighter day.
yeah ok.

I am no Superman,
I have no answers for you.
I am no hero, no; that's for sure.
But I do know one thing,
Where you are, that's where I belong,
I do know where you go is where I wanna be.

Where are you going?
Where do you go?

Where do you go?
Where are you going?

Where do you go?
I am no Superman,
I have no answers for you.
I am no hero, no; that's for sure.
But I do know one thing,
Where you are, that's where I belong
I do know where you go is where I wanna be.

Where are you going?
Where do you go?
And where are you going?
Where you must go.

LEBANON

I was reading an article in the National Geographic magazine about the Great Plains of America. And as usual, it provoked some images and ideas of staying out there in a ranch, farming corn and rearing cattles... living out the American dream.

That's actually funny, because I am a Chinese who has lived all his life in Malaysia. So, why do I want to go there? Like I said, "Living out the American dream."

But, I know I can't. It's too far fetched... one of those out-of-the-world kinda ideas that my parents won't buy, that my friends won't see it possible.

However, reading about the placa makes feel I was there. The power of the words in the story is just amazing. I think there is better word that just 'amazing'. Will find it in due time.

Anyway, it took me there a while and grounded me back in Malaysia. It's a beautifl country, Malaysia is. I just have to look harder and appreciate her more then...

Until then, will keep searching for the elusive American dream...

KOPITIAM

I was in Kuala Lumpur yesterday and went to have my breakfast at this quaint, 50's kopitiam, roughly translated into coffee shop.

It's the one situated betweem the Pasar Seni and the Masjid Jamek LRT station, opposite the Bar Council building. Can't recall its name, though.

I am sick, so I thought I'd go there for some yin yeong, (butter and kaya) bread and a hot Milo.

It's a nice place to hang out, even for youngsters. Way better than most coffee house with their over-priced drinks. I think I'll come here more often.

As usual, I was there by myself. Gazing off into its cracks and blotches of the shop. Wondering if our past leaders have came here before discussing about the nation's future and such.

Well, me being me... so, will be going to Penang by the end of this month. Hope to have a good training and seep into Penang's history, culture and some kopitiam,

BORN 14 JANUARY

I was clearing my locker just now and I came across one of my sketch books. Usually I would keep them for, you know... sentimental values and something to look back when I grow old and stumble over it again.

But I felt I really want to start afresh with everything. So, I decided to throw this book away. However, on its cover I have paste a small article about myself, taken from the Malay Mail a few years back (I think they print this in the comics section.).

Just want to keep it near so, I can read it whenever I can.

It's an article of those who are born on 14 January. I'd like to share this little excerpt with my friends and also dedicate it to those born on that day.

For you- Elan, Fung Tee and Yee Chean.


It says:

BORN TODAY

You may always appear to have a 'secret' of some sort that you carry with you day by day throughout your lifetime. The secret is, of course, is that there is no secret- it's just the way you are!

You have a great deal of strength and charm. Though you are perfectly able to mix and mingle with others successfully, you do prefer to be on your own except when you work with those around you towards a common end and can enjoy the camaraderie of effort and results.

You are always willing to work harder that most to reach your goals. Adventurous and old-fashioned in many ways, you are willing to accept a challenge and face dangers- if only for the sake of saying you've done it.

You don't have to reap any tangible rewards as a result of your efforts; you do have to feel as though you're having a good time!