THE BREAKING OF THE GLASS
I saw simple wedding between 2 people recently. There were rituals, utterance of blessings and vows. It was very solemn for a wedding; a veil of tradition or an air of seriousness seemed to hovered around the tiny room with relatives and friends.
Turning 27 next month. I never imagined that I would one day get married. Because I never knew it was possible for me. But after spending so much time away from home missing a couple of weddings; after getting to know that some of my friends who got engaged but never made it to the day or those that did get to the day but eventually fell wayward into singlehood the next year.
Worst of all; found that someone who you thought you could spend the rest of your life with-through the ups' and downs' only to have distance and time erode away the memories, the potential and the mysteries of what-could-have-been.
It makes one wonder - 'What the fuck is wrong?'
Reality as we know it is fragmented, broken or warped as one of my friends put it. Everything is wrong. Nothing is in perspective when viewed through our spaced minds and crossed eyes. That one special day in our entire lives does not correct our visions nor restore our shattered musics of spheres.
That is why the wedding had emoted me. It was grounded in traditions which we had let go in pursuit of modernity and of its false posterity it promises. The rich symbolism in the rituals helps us and reminds us of - despite the Joy that may follow, Sorrow lingers around like her half sister born of past experiences and of future hope.
I might have dreamt of a wedding of such in the past year or so. I wish not of anything else right now but to be more honest with myself and with whomever I decide to share my life with eventually. I think I will stick to the tea ceremony.
But until that day comes, I can only hope and pray for myself andthose who had suffered lost to be found again. Not in the eyes of the beholder - but within him/herself, a gentle furour of courage and optimism.
Turning 27 next month. I never imagined that I would one day get married. Because I never knew it was possible for me. But after spending so much time away from home missing a couple of weddings; after getting to know that some of my friends who got engaged but never made it to the day or those that did get to the day but eventually fell wayward into singlehood the next year.
Worst of all; found that someone who you thought you could spend the rest of your life with-through the ups' and downs' only to have distance and time erode away the memories, the potential and the mysteries of what-could-have-been.
It makes one wonder - 'What the fuck is wrong?'
Reality as we know it is fragmented, broken or warped as one of my friends put it. Everything is wrong. Nothing is in perspective when viewed through our spaced minds and crossed eyes. That one special day in our entire lives does not correct our visions nor restore our shattered musics of spheres.
That is why the wedding had emoted me. It was grounded in traditions which we had let go in pursuit of modernity and of its false posterity it promises. The rich symbolism in the rituals helps us and reminds us of - despite the Joy that may follow, Sorrow lingers around like her half sister born of past experiences and of future hope.
I might have dreamt of a wedding of such in the past year or so. I wish not of anything else right now but to be more honest with myself and with whomever I decide to share my life with eventually. I think I will stick to the tea ceremony.
But until that day comes, I can only hope and pray for myself andthose who had suffered lost to be found again. Not in the eyes of the beholder - but within him/herself, a gentle furour of courage and optimism.
posted by ewing.leong at 10:08 AM
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