October 24, 2004

THE HOMEWORK

"Here is the homework of this week," said Mr. Bani, my English teacher. "I need you to go back home tonight and watch this show on TV2 at 8:30."

It was back in 1994. A homework. But not the typical one. This one stayed with me for some time... well, probably for the rest of my life.

Dead Poet Society. That was the homwework.

Assignment: Watch, describe your favorite character, why you liked him or her and tell the class! It won't be marked.

So, for the first time, I glued myself to the television and actually did my homework, probably it was Mr. Bani's way of getting us do our work. But now when I think back, it has more depth in its meaning than just English grammar.

Why this film?

It tells a story of a teacher who never comforms to his peers and surroundings. An unconventional teacher, one may say. So, in a nutshell- Keating's unique.

This was what I think Mr. Bani was trying to tell us. That we are made unique, special in our ways. He was trying to break us open- the critical analysis of the characters, the description... and most importantly, the speech of our essay.

Sad to say, I didn't put as much effort as I did watching the film. I just drafted my essay and blurted it in the class.

Many years have passed, and taking this into reflection really made me see the light of the importance of getting an education and more crucially, blooming thoughts and ideas.

For years after watching Dead Poet, I dreamed about attending a school like that. Traditionally powered, prowling geniuses and a bench of great teachers. And after Form 5, when I got my transfer to St. John's Institution... I was overwhelmed.

I vowed not to repeat my mistakes I did in Seaport (my former school prior to Form 6) and do my best to regain all my 'lost battles' there.

But, you know what... I didn't win my selfish 'battles'.

I have thought that being in my dream school, I could immediately pass with flying colors and have a bunch of old boys as my good buddies.

Exams I passed, meagearly. Buddies I had, well... just friends now. I barely know anyone in this new school...

Two years later after St. John's Mr. Leonard passed away, I was in tears. I didn't know why... I didn't really know him. I guessed, he has touched me indirectly.

Through his songs. His Johannian-filled personality. But probably, his genuiness towards his fellow humans, that life can just be life... you just have to live it!

Now, I have came to a point that, everything I had ever wanted will never be fufilled. It is a sad moment, but I also realised that not everything that you wished for will come true.

Good grades come from sheer hardwork and consistency. True friendships bloom from many years of growth and dry spells.

I spent too may years conforming to society's benchmark, that I've lost my true self. All my schooling years, being somebody who I am not. Sometimes, I wish to turn back the flow of time and go back... but that means I am trying to live my dreams again.

No time must be spend regreting of things that we did or did not do. I think rather use that time to do something worthwhile.

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