A LITTLE BOY

This week started off quite well. Especially after knowing that I can survive by just 2 hours of sleep. But throughout the whole week, I' ve been getting hints that I should relax, lighten up or simply just smile.

Am I too serious? Early of the week, Mr. Oliver asked me to relax in the kitchen... to stop being so tense. Then with Ming-Fei, she said I don't have to worry too much of what people might think about me. Phee Lip then pose the question of what do I really want?

So, it's really what I really want that will determine my course in life, my core principles, my attitude towards others and myself.

I didn't go to class on Thursday because I cannot stand Mr. Oliver and Mr. Teo. But life is not avoidance.. It's about facing the problem right in its face and say, "Shit, I don't like you but I will try to make the best out of you!" It makes no sense.

But I went to college on Friday, and I felt okay when I spoke up a bit. Really need to work on that! Anyway, it's great to be heard.

Today, I fell off my bike and scraped my knee. It's okay. I can now remember what it feels like to be injured, to be fragile... I have to write that somehow.

I need to find out what I believe.

I need to be more bold.

I need to stand up to what I believe.

I need to start drawing again.

I need to play an instrument again.

I need to be silent, not serious.

Basically, to be a man. Not a boy